Thursday, October 20, 2005

Return of the mix tape

Hi.

Still in Big D. Still in a hotel. Still have 2 kids. Still contemplating swan dive off balcony nightly. Thanks for asking.

Now that I got that out of the way ...

For those of you not keeping score, my Mustang, sweet sweet Mustang, that I have wanted, nay lusted for, since high school, was flooded when the levy broke in New Orleans. I will not go on a "why Mayor Ray Nagan and his cronies, especially that windy kooze Mary Landrieu should all go straight to hell and die" rant, because then the blood pressure starts to rise and I get the stink eye happening, and frankly I'm not in the mood. I will tell you, though, that Wifey and I saw him pulling out of the City of Dallas building in his BMW Convertible two days ago.

Seriously.

Anyway, after returning to NoLa last weekend and seeing my car (read:305 horsepower boat) sitting on Tulane's campus, it's official: The car is gone. I opened the door and the water line was at the level of the center console between the two front seats. Yep. Really. What I don't get here is there were sticks- not twigs, but big freaking sticks in the car mixed in with the mud and toxic sludge.

(Wanna smell something faaaaaaaantastic? Head to NoLa before all the sludge gets cleaned up. No hurry- at the rate things are going, you should make plans before May of 2019, give or take a week.)

Digressing as only I know how, after a few tears and a massive temper tantrum, I cleared out the few things that didn't get ruined, which fortunately included the Olga cd that she signed for me at the gig I went to at Dos Jefes Uptown Cigar Bar, before it got ... never mind. She is the chick I did the Marketing Strategy for in my Music Marketing class, and she is just about the coolest person on planet Earth. She was totally open to helping me out after her set, and made my project about a million times easier. I would love to get to market her for real, because let's be honest- the music industry is pretty void of any talented female singer/songwriters not named Alicia Keyes. If you like blues and women singers (Bonnie Raitt, maybe even Cheryl Crowe's old stuff) you need to buy her cd.

Where am I going with this? Ok ... I took the insurance check to the bank and found a 1998 Saab 900s Convertible for $4500 on craigslist.com. It has a 6-disc changer in the back, but no CD slot in the cabin. It does, however, have a tape player. Remember those? I'll be damned if I'm going to stop while I'm driving to go in the trunk and switch CDs. The only solution: Mixtapes, baby. Lots and lots of bad quality, low fidelity, mixed tape majesty. The kind you made your girl/boyfriend who you were certain you would be with forever and then made out to over and over again to the point where if you even here "Can You Take Me High Enough" you uncontrollably start kissing whoever is around at the time. Thank, Ted.

So here's the contest: whoever sends me the greatest throwback mix tape will go down in infamy on this site. I will then send legions of midgets to carry you around on a throne singing your praises and announcing your arrival everywhere you go. I may even throw in a singing candygram at your office.

Instant disqualification will result for inclusion of any of the following groups:
Madonna (or any other '80s female singer, Paula Abdul notwithstanding)
Flock of Seagulls
George Michael/Wham
Beastie Boys
Any group you liked in middle school, regardless of what year(s) that was

or- failing to include at least one song by:
Michael Jackson
Earth Wind and Fire/Chicago/Tower of Power/P-Funk
Stevie Wonder/James Brown
Marvin Gaye/Al Green/Barry White (Luther, great as he is, does not count here)

The rest is up to you. My current mailing address is:
Mixtape Contest
c/o Virgil Richardson
709 Nelson Drive
Cedar Hill, Texas 75104
Submissions must be postmarked by October 29, 2005. Good luck and happy mixing!

5 Comments:

At 1:54 PM, Anonymous Eric said...

What the fuck do you mean no Wham!? You call yourself an American?

 
At 1:33 PM, Blogger Rich said...

Mega cool point reduction for the man who as far as he knows invented them. Yes, Eric ... no Wham. Are you kidding me? I'm going to start calling you Erica. Not even George Michal listens to Wham.

 
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